While there are many variations among smokers, these general
designations are agreed upon by most users.Over the years, with the assistance of the drug magazines and the development of a national oral tradition among marijuana users, certain varieties have gained national prominence. Panama Red comes to mind; it has been celebrated by a popular song of the same name. But legends come easily; in actual fact, few smokers have tried Panama Red, although many claim they have. "We don't get it very often," a California dealer told me. "But a couple of pounds came in a few months ago, and it went like wildfire, with customers telling me, 'My God, I haven't seen Red in years.' "
Is marijuana always what it's reputed to be? Often it isn't, and sometimes not even the dealer knows for sure. "In most cases I know what I've got," one dealer told me. "But it's hard to be absolutely certain. I go by what my suppliers tell me, and sometimes I think that even they're not sure."
There are smokers who have made it a point to sample every possible variety and who claim to be able to tell instantly where a particular sample originated. Alan, the San Francisco connoisseur, is one such expert, and I asked him to explain the process by which he determines the quality and origin of an unknown sample:
Let's
say Fred walks in with a bag of dope and says, "Okay, smart-ass, where is
this from, and how good is it?"
I examine it externally by opening the bag and sniffing gently.
It smells "strong" and "heavy." How can I define that?
Musty, dank, potent, not "sickly-sweet" as the generalizing books
always characterize the smell of pot. Appearance: brown-gold with a greenish
hue (rather than vice versa), some smallish very clumped-together buds,
medium-small dark-brownish-black seeds (relatively few in number), a lot of
"shake," or pretty pulverized pieces of leaf, with the whole inside
of the bag dusty and loose.
By now I already know it's probably Colombian commercial that
will go for about $300 a pound if the dealer is righteous—not more because
there's too much shake and the best buds have already been removed for a higher
priced sale; "commercial" because it's not sinsemilla (seedless) and
because it's the same as the millions of pounds of average Colombo that have
inundated America for the past few years. But just to be sure, I smoke some.
Like most Colombian shake, it makes a dusty joint filled with fine particles,
so I roll the joint thin and twist the smoking end fairly tightly shut so
particles won't get sucked into my mouth inordinately and so it draws well.
I am quite familiar with my consciousness and with what Colombian
usually does for me. Going down, it's a bit harsh on the back of the throat,
which surprises me, because I hadn't expected that much harshness from
commercial. The harshness gets worse with ensuing tokes, which tells me that
the dope was either not harvested at exactly the right time (probably a little
too late) or is stronger than usual for commercial. I suspect it is the shake
from a bag of very good tops probably grown somewhere near the mountain (Sierra
Nevada
de Santa
Marta),
perhaps fairly high up the mountain.
I feel the first frissons of being high within the space
between the second and third tokes, and the fourth toke makes me cough
abruptly. I feel bland beneath the superficial excitement of the cough.
By the end of the joint I feel rather somnolent, interested but not excited, a
bit wasted, not talkative, and if I smoke another one I'll be happy to just sit
there and watch the tube, no scintillating conversation, no work, no particular
inspiration, very passive.
Verdict? What we have here is the shake from a bag of Colombian
Gold tops, which the dealer is selling for less than the tops, splitting up a
pound into the extraordinary tops and the very ordinary shake. It was probably
grown on or near Santa Marta, probably reached the U.S. via Miami or New Orleans or the gulf
side of Texas, and is
probably a shade overpriced because the dealer's price is influenced by his
knowledge that the tops are terrific.
Most experienced smokers and virtually all dealers of middle
level or higher can distinguish, say, between Hawaiian green-and-gold flecked
dynamite, Jamaica's rather sedative brown globby pot, Colombia's brownish-gold,
Punta Roja red, and most other varieties on the basis of appearance, taste,
smell, and effects.