Some smokers find that marijuana can function as a social
equalizer. A social worker at a large clinic was disturbed by the extent to which other members of the administrative staff kept their distance from the nurses and the attendants. Believing that this separation was potentially harmful to the well-being of the clinic, she brought an ounce of marijuana to the annual Christmas party and encouraged her friends in both groups to share her supply— together. She thinks the evening had a lasting effect:There's no doubt that it broke down some of the barriers. Now, there's a little more trust and openness between the two groups. One of the attendants said to me that he never would have expected to see me smoking, and that he realized that I set an example in my work which wasn't necessarily the same as who I was in private. He admired the fact that I smoked and also maintained a high position at work.
Smokers are often pleased to learn that their acquaintances also
smoke. "It means that even if they're uptight, there's probably a limit to
their pretentiousness," observed a Connecticut real estate
broker. "A person who smokes usually has the ability to laugh at himself
on some level."
Parties, of course, are the traditional time and place where
marijuana is smoked, and among younger users, "to party" means to
smoke marijuana. But the marijuana party of the 1960s, where people came
together for the explicit purpose of sharing a joint, appears to be on the decline
There are various explanations for this; most smokers attribute it to the
growing acceptance of marijuana, which no longer requires special conditions
and emotional support from friends. "The thing we stress hardest in our
research," observes Norman Zinberg of his work at the Cambridge Hospital,
"is that there are socially evolving patterns of drug use." According
to Zinberg, marijuana smokers used to gather in small groups because what they
were doing was not only illegal but also deviant. These days, it's merely
illegal, Zinberg observes. "The pot party and the idea of people smoking
together was really an important way of doing it with a minimum of anxiety.
It's just no longer necessary."
One user believes that the pot party has become less popular
because drinking is a more social activity, whereas marijuana tends to involve
its users in subjective, inner experiences. Whatever the explanation, many
people now think twice about whether to accept a joint at a party.
They give various reasons. "I don't like to smoke in social
situations," says an art dealer, "because I have a hard time keeping
up with conversations when I'm stoned, and I don't always like to be asking
'What did you say?' only a few seconds after they've said it." While marijuana
may act as a social lubricant in small groups, in larger gatherings it has a
tendency to backfire. "If I'm stoned at a party," says a college
administrator, "when it's over, I often feel that I haven't made contact
with anybody." And an Oregon midwife speaks for many
of her fellow-smokers:
When
I do go to parties stoned, I'll often remove myself mentally from the
situation, leaving my body out there, and watching myself behave. To some
extent I can blot out my own ego, and become a noncritical observer. That's a nice
thing to do at a party, get high and watch, but it doesn't do anything for the
party.
On the contrary; it goes against the grain of what a party is
for. I might sit in a chair by myself and have a great time, and be fascinated,
but then somebody will start a conversation when I'd rather be alone, and that
would just not be enjoyable.
At the same time, there are many smokers who very much enjoy
smoking marijuana at parties. Sometimes the enjoyment begins even before the
person has smoked, as Sarah explains:
If I arrive at a party, and I don't know anyone, but I see that people are smoking dope, I automatically feel more comfortable. I can tell that the people will be friendly. There's something primal about passing a joint around that brings people together, even though they may be strangers.
And an Indiana woman observes:
I'm more animated at parties, and I laugh easier when I'm stoned. Once, before going to a party that I knew would be boring, I smoked just before I got there, and ended up talking to the most obnoxious man there. I wasn't even listening to what he was saying. I was just watching his mouth move up and down, which at the time was really fascinating. The only drawback to being stoned is that I lose my train of thought, so sometimes people think I'm a little slow. When everybody else is stoned, it's very funny, but otherwise it can be embarrassing.