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  • ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  • 1. An Overview of
  • The First Time
  • Because our Puritan-based society has traditionally been uneasy
  • Addiction and
  • At the same time, marijuana is an attractive activity for
  • Strategies of Smokers
  • There are some smokers who are convinced that "good
  • Stopping
  • Notes
  • 14. Looking Ahead:
  • Smokers of this persuasion speak of marijuana being grown by
  • In the event of legalization, it is unlikely that names will
  • The Moment of Awareness
  • Appendix
  • On the other hand, I very often have magnificent creative
  • 2. A Denver high school
  • I don't know if you're interested, but the reason I started
  • Sometimes marijuana can depersonalize a sexual experience. This

    may be what the user wants: for a physical therapist from New Jersey, "There's a special kick in watching yourself, mentally, making love to somebody else." She adds that while grass makes her more interested in sex, it can also make her not want to be touched at all, a paradox mentioned by several other users.
        Other smokers find this depersonalizing effect not at all to their liking. A
    Michigan man who has been smoking for several years says he is now having second thoughts:

    I'm no longer sure that sex is enhanced by marijuana. Fucking maybe, but lovemaking is done away with. Stoned tingles are especially intense tingles, and certainly pleasurable, but they just float off into the void while I try to remember who it is I'm tingling with. And where's the drama in that? I have always found sex to extract a psychic commitment, a sense of possibilities and dangers. But with marijuana, it's often roughly equivalent to masturbating with a copy of Penthouse.


        Lenny has come to a similar conclusion. For him, fascination is increased, but not meaning. "It's very sexy," he says, "but it doesn't really add up to much."
        Other users find that while sex and marijuana are usually a good combination, there are definite limits to their alliance. For example, a teenaged girl from
    St. Louis finds that marijuana stimulates her mind to the point where she can't fully concentrate on the moment at hand:

    Kissing isn't that good with a buzz on, because my mouth is too aware. I also don't like it because my mind is always working so I can't concentrate on enjoying it. Did you ever kiss and wonder about life's mysteries at the same time? They just don't go together. When I'm stoned, all I do is think, think, think.


        Some smokers experience more serious problems. Sex and marijuana both represent altered states of consciousness. This explains, in part, their special appeal, but it also leads to difficulties, as this
    Wisconsin man discovered:

    Sex provides a peculiar tension that makes being stoned a hundred times better than it is. Notice I said that sex makes dope better, rather than the other way around. Being high does change the complexion of the sex act, though: it can be anything from a five-minute quickie to a long bacchanalian dance, and pot creates a different kind of desire than anything else I know.
        But I would not like to be stoned every time I had sex, because eventually the feelings associated with being straight could easily become confused with the feelings of being stoned.


        A similar trouble was reported by a woman from
    Hawaii, who finds that it is not always easy to know where one high ends and the other begins:

    While I like to have sex after smoking dope, I sometimes wonder about my boyfriend. I know I'm high on him, but I'm not always sure whether he is enjoying me or the drug. Do you know that scene in Annie Hall where Woody Allen complains to Diane Keaton that she won't have sex without smoking a joint? He gets his way, but then we see an image of her body walking over to a chair to wait for the sex to end. I can't get that scene out of my mind.


        A writer in
    New York complains that marijuana works so well that it could ruin sex by overpowering it:

    What disturbs me is that dope threatens to offer a physical pleasure greater than sex. When people masturbate, they usually fantasize another person, so the need for that other person—for love—is still present in the fantasy. But with dope, the fantasy—for me, at least—is usually colors, sounds of music, and various nonpersonal sensations. I feel it displaces the marvelous mammal connection between sex, love, and happiness.
        All this is my way of saying that dope messes up my own fucking. I can't connect in orgasm when I'm stoned, either with my wife or with my own body. The foreplay is often better and more interesting, and the first few minutes of intercourse are great, but when it comes to coming with my whole body in a rhythm, dope messes me up. My head bobs all offbeat with my pelvis; my feet don't jive right. It starts well and ends badly.


        But for most smokers, sex and marijuana go well together, and many users offered glowing testimonies to the effect of marijuana on their sex lives. For example, a professor from
    Phoenix writes:

    There's nothing more exciting than sex while you're high, assuming you've got a well-developed imagination and a partner to love. When I'm stoned, I just have to look at my wife. Her body becomes irresistible, and mine becomes electric. I undress her slowly, and love her body as though there were nothing else important in my life. My penis is oversensitized, and sometimes is so huge that it hurts. Actual intercourse is such a trip! She always feels hotter and tighter than usual. Frankly, I don't have the words to describe the experience. I only hope I grow old and gray before I lose my desire to love her this way.


        For many smokers, marijuana makes more explicit and actually seems to strengthen the link between emotional and sexual love. One man reported that marijuana gave added meaning to the "sweet nothings" that he sometimes exchanges with his wife, like "you make me complete" or "we're so lucky to have found each other." For David, sex on marijuana is not just physically arousing:

    What really moves me are the emotional effects of pot on our sex life. It makes me realize whom I'm with, that I have the privilege of being married to and making love to the woman I love most in the world, who makes my life happy and gives it meaning.
        Dope helps me to see that some corny expressions carry real meaning when you take them out of their usual packaging. Of course I love her when we're not stoned too, which is most of the time. But smoking often makes that love more concrete, so that it manifests itself with great spontaneity and power.


        Mark and Sarah are quite sure that their son was conceived during a stoned session of lovemaking. Mark recalls:

    It was a transcendent experience. We knew exactly what we were doing, and were utterly blown away. It wasn't something we had decided to do in advance; all of a sudden, it just happened. That evening, we were both over at Danny's, and Sarah told Danny she was pregnant. We were both sure; there was just no question about it.

     

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