4. Marijuana Activities

God is looking at the world through your eyes. Are you showing Him a good time?

—a smoker in Wisconsin

Smokers have gotten high to sell cars, march at their own graduations, get married, attend funerals, give lectures, appear in plays, be interviewed for jobs, and virtually everything else. Normally, the event in question goes smoothly enough, although there are exceptions, as one young man discovered:

This past year I went for my interview to get into Yale. I stopped to visit a cousin, and we got blown away. I should have known better. I went into the interview with a shoe in my mouth. The man would ask me a question, and I would think about it forever before responding in a completely irrational manner. I'd rather not relive this nightmare.

    Because moments like this can and do occur, most smokers have internalized a code governing what activities they will engage in while stoned. For some, tasks that require dealing with systems of authority are ruled out, not because they can't be done well but because they may be highly unpleasant. Even as trivial an exercise as requesting a telephone number through directory assistance from a strictly impersonal operator can be upsetting to the smoker who is high and feeling friendly and relaxed. Such activities as standing in lines, going to the bank or post office, and sitting in traffic can similarly be unpleasant when one is stoned. (On the other hand, many commuters like to get high during rush hour to make it bearable.)
    Sometimes unlikely activities present unlikely problems. A housewife in Dayton, Ohio, writes that she got high with a friend before a neighborhood Tupperware party, where she ended up buying fifty dollars worth of Tupperware "because everything looked so useful." Indeed, one piece she bought was more useful than she realized; she now uses it to store and preserve marijuana in her freezer
    The range of experiences enhanced by marijuana is endless. A new mother reports that she enjoys breastfeeding when she is stoned:

I felt so aware of the milk flowing and the baby sucking. But the best part is after the feed when the breast starts to fill again. I can practically feel the milk far back, from all parts of the breast streaming toward the nipples, a streaming, yes, that's the best word to describe it.[1]

    One of the most unexpected stoned activities is housework. Several users mentioned that they have learned to enjoy this normally dismal task while high, adding that marijuana can also lead to a more thorough job. "I hate housework and usually do the minimal amount," writes a Chicago woman. "But if I get stoned and put on some music, I will tear a room apart and clean every inch of it." And a high school girl adds:

What I think is the most fun to do when you're high and alone is just to clean little unimportant things like the TV screen. These things do get pretty dirty. It's great to walk into the kitchen in a daze, get some paper towels and cleanser, and clean the rubber plant in the hall. You think to yourself, "What am I doing this for?"

    A man who says he doesn't help out much around the house reports that smoking will put him in a very different frame of mind, in which he feels the need to put things in their proper place. Stoned, he especially enjoys physical tasks like emptying the dishwasher and compulsive activities like chipping away all the ice that has accumulated in the freezer. Other smokers recount similar experiences, and a New York woman notes that it is now as common for professional housecleaners to take five minutes out for a joint as it is for them to help themselves from her liquor cabinet.
    Another favorite indoor activity for some smokers consists of handling marijuana, including rolling joints, cleaning an ounce or two, or dividing a pound into one-ounce plastic bags. Good marijuana can be pleasing to look at, handle, and smell, and these pleasures are naturally intensified for the consumer who is stoned.
    Several people mentioned that when they are high, they feel more aware of animals, that the animals take on a more distinct identity, that they become easier to comprehend as live creatures with personalities and needs of their own. Among smokers, it is widely believed that household pets become high if smoke is blown toward them. One experienced smoker notes that cats handle being stoned better than do dogs: "Cats either curl up and dream, or else prowl around in a prickly alert state with their fur electrified. Dogs just get splay-legged and drool." Other users enjoy watching animals, especially fish in an aquarium. A Nevada woman elaborates:

I have a desert tortoise as a pet, and the other day I smoked a joint and spent at least an hour just watching him. I became totally captivated with his actions7 as slow as they are, and with the various colors and shades of his shell. I can really get into animals when I smoke, and have held "thought conversations" with cats I used to own, to the point where I felt I could really tell what they were thinking. I realize how strange that must sound, but I did feel it.
    Once one of my cats had just given birth, and she and the kittens were all together in my bedroom. I just went in, sat on the floor, and watched them for a couple of hours. The kittens were crawling all around me, and I was totally content. It felt like that was all I needed in the world to be happy. Animals also like to get high, and it isn't even necessary to blow smoke in their faces, as most people think. They get high just from
    being in a smoky room. My cats would get close to me when I was smoking, and would even lift their heads in the air and sniff in order to catch the smoke. Animals get very affectionate when they're high, or else very energetic, and will wear themselves out playing or running around. I'm pretty sure that even my turtle gets high, since he acts differently and moves around more when there's smoke in the air.

    Smokers choose different settings for stoned activities. Some, like Judy, prefer staying home, "where I have a wonderful time going nowhere. Before I started smoking there was much more pressure to go out and 'do something,' especially on the weekends." For this group, leaving the house to go somewhere requires too much energy and involves too many hassles.
    Another group, given the choice—and good weather—will go out of its way to find a physically pleasant environment, such as a beach, a forest, a park, or a canoe in the middle of a lake. A Missouri man notes that the ideal place to get high is on the levee on the Mississippi, "just laying back with a joint, listening to the sound of the tugboats with the cool breeze kissing you on the face." Another man mentions that, when he is stoned, a simple walk in the woods can turn into an adventure in exploring sensations. "For example," he asks, "how many people have stopped to listen to alder trees rattle against each other on a winter's day when the temperature is down to ten degrees?"
    Others use marijuana to enhance short trips and sight-seeing. A college student in Boston recalls one night when he and his roommate, both high, decided to visit Plymouth Rock:

It was intense. We got there, to the pavilion, where the lights give off this eerie, moonish glow. You stand above that rock, and you look out, and there's this rock where the Pilgrims came up—right up to that point. That very rock! And they carved "1620" into that rock. And after all those years, that rock is still there!

    In a sense, the more ordinary the experience, the more exciting are its transformations under marijuana. Mark, the computer designer, describes the simple act of taking a walk through his neighborhood to visit a friend:

I love to go walking. If you're stoned enough, you never seem to get where you are going. You lose your sense of time. The usual memory processes aren't working, and it seems you have always been where you are now.
    The slightest scene on the street becomes a dramatic episode. Two guys talking to a girl. A man going into a store. A woman carrying a small child out of a car. It all becomes part of this live movie you're watching, looking out at all this simultaneous movement, taking in the panorama of the ever-changing street.

    The key to the transformation is that marijuana encourages its users to relax, to take the time really to notice the world around them, to see that which they might routinely ignore on other occasions.
    A Long Island woman, now in her early thirties, so much enjoys going for walks with her friends when they are all stoned that she imagines that this will be the perfect activity for her old age. "People associate smoking dope with youth," she says, "but in some cultures it's done more by old people, and I can see why. I once read an interview with Albert Hofmann, who discovered the psychedelic properties of LSD, who said he thought that psychedelic drugs were most appropriate for a 'ripe personality.'"
    There is no consensus at all among smokers as to whether marijuana mixes well with work; it seems to depend on the smoker—and on the nature of the work, as a secretary explains:

I can never understand why people will say "I can't smoke now, I'm going to work." Now, I see that this would apply to people who are, say, airline pilots or surgeons, or who do something where you can't take a chance on losing your concentration or drifting off for a few minutes. But for the average person such as myself, whose work doesn't have much to do with life and death matters, work can be more enjoyable and easier when you are stoned.
    I've never screwed up because of being stoned. It just doesn't affect me that way. When I'm stoned at work, I put my attention to the work and everything turns out all right. So I guess what all that says is that I control the dope, rather than vice versa. I have noticed and known a lot of people who are incapable of doing any important work after smoking, but I think they're in the minority.

    The majority of users, probably, would not even consider smoking on the job. It's not always a question of being able to perform well; for many, the mix is simply inappropriate. "The whole point of marijuana," says a printer, "is that it can be used as a reward for when the work is over." A young man who works in a car wash finds marijuana helps him cope with the boredom of the job, but adds that he is careful not to smoke before work—or else he might not come in at all. This brings to mind an adage popular among smokers: "Do whatever you want when you're stoned, but decide what you want to do before you smoke." For many people, one of the effects of marijuana is that it makes them reluctant to leave the activity in which they are involved in favor of something else.
    A Washington journalist has worked out a compromise. He finds that smoking often increases his motivation. If he is working on a good story, he won't need to smoke. But if the deadline is drawing near, and nothing exciting is breaking, he may choose to get high for inspiration. He will also smoke before major events:

Usually I'll smoke up before a presidential press conference, or a similarly important event or speech. Once I ran into Senator Hatfield while I was getting high, and neither of us thought anything too bad was happening, although of course he may not have known what I was up to.